2008 Woodie Awards
Getting it on outside the bedroom exhilarating, dangerous
By: Andra DeForest
Issue date: 4/2/08 Section: Features
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The area people should start to think about switching, however, is the location of their sex.
Think about it - people choose a location to live that fits their budget because they think they could be successful there in their jobs and personal lives. Why shouldn't sex get a trip out of the bedroom?
I've chosen several out-of-comfort-zone locales that could serve as inspiration on a fornication field trip. All of them are fun, some are illegal and one might get you kicked out of school.
Bathroom
The bathroom may seem like an obvious choice for taking the fun outside the boudoir, but the added threat of a roommate knocking on the door while you are mid-thrust gives a jolt of adrenaline to the situation. Plus, the mirror gives a whole new view of you and your partner.
Having seen firsthand how many 20-somethings keep their bathrooms, it may be wise to do a little pre-sex bathroom cleanse - and perhaps a post-cleanse wouldn't hurt, either.
Car
It sounds so "Pleasantville" to take your steady up to Lover's Lane to fog up the Fairlane, but I've never heard anyone who got nookie in the back of a car complain.
Depending on the size of your backseat, the number of positions available is limited. In most scenarios the female will be on top, either facing away or toward the male.
If you're lucky enough to own a truck, take some blankets and pillows and throw them in the bed for some fun under the stars (or the sun - I'm not here to judge.) Just be sure you go far off into the foothills somewhere where no one will find you or you'll get some sort of fine - or just pull it into the garage.
Outside
When it comes to outdoors lovin', we need to address the 2,500-acre elephant in the room that is Bidwell Park.
John and Annie Bidwell not only left us a wild park to ride our bikes and walk our dogs through, they also left us deer trails and secret clearings perfect for quick romps in the wild.
As long as no one sees you, and you leave no trash behind, I see nothing wrong with showing your partner how you feel in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.
Quick tip: There are bugs out there. Bring some sort of blanket or ground cover to bar nature's little bastards from getting all up in your business while you're getting busy.
Meriam Library
I dated "Mouth" once and never again. He told me his older brother took every girlfriend he ever had in college to the fourth floor of Meriam Library and had sex with her. Mouth is named for his ridiculously large yapper and for the equally ridiculous stuff that came out of it, so I never took his story seriously.
I used to venture up to the fourth floor every once in a while my freshman year, and I'm ashamed to say I haven't been up there since. I heard people would go up there and do more than study, but since it's physically impossible for me to stay in the library past sundown (it just doesn't feel natural) I've yet to witness or hear any firsthand accounts of sexual relations up there.
The study rooms on the third floor are where I imagine the action going on. If you get at the right angle, no one would see you and you'd be free to horizontal tango all you want.
However, you are running the risk of someone walking in. While I couldn't get a straight answer from Chico State faculty about the penalty for being caught fornicating on school property, I'm willing to bet it's not something you'll be proud to tell your parents about.
Andra DeForest can be reached at
sexcolumnist@theorion.com
Got a sex-related question? Don't be shy! E-mail me and I may answer it in one of my columns. All identifiable information will be changed and is strictly confidential.
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