The Orion Online

Issue date: 10/1/08 Section: Opinion

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Awkward, pimply-face high school boys with raging hormones, sweaty palms and uncontrollable nervous laughter come to mind when thinking about first dates.

That might be because the last time I went on an official date was a little after high school, and those pimply-face boys left a lasting impression that made me never want to date again.

I don't like first dates. They are uncomfortable, nerve-wracking and, more often than not, they turn out horrible.

I'm sure most students have been on dates in which there is not a single thing to talk about. You end up staring at each other for hours in silence, praying for a friend to call with an emergency and rescue you from the date.

Then there are those dates in which a person talks too much and you feel your brain start to spin from information overload. The person talks so much about their life they leave without ever learning your name.

Blind dates are probably the worst, especially if you don't find the person attractive when you meet them. With no common interest or attraction, that blind date can feel like a waste of time.

And that's what dates have been for me - a big waste of time, especially if I have to pay for my own food. If sparks aren't flying and I can't even score a free meal out of the situation then the night was pointless.

So naturally I freaked when I was asked out a couple of weekends ago.

I normally turn down date offers in a heartbeat because I want to avoid situations like those previously stated.

However, with all of my bad first date experience, I decided to take a chance and went on the date.

I had an amazing time. The man was a charming gentleman and even bought me flowers.

He took me to a comedy show. It was something new and refreshing, where we could laugh and talk together instead of sitting in a large dark room watching a movie screen. I was impressed.

As it turns out, lots of men and women are coming up with new, creative ideas for first dates. Dating no longer has to seem torturous.

On askmen.com, men are receiving some good advice about what to do on the first date.

Some ideas include taking a limo ride for the night, going to rooftop terraces where you can both see the city from the highest building - talk about exhilarating and romantic - having a catered meal at home instead of sitting in a busy restaurant, getting massages together and, for those who want to go all out, taking a date on a balloon ride.

While it may be hard to do some of these things in Chico, I'm sure men can find something that's just as creative - they just have to plan ahead. Anything remotely close to these ideas will surely beat dinner and a movie.

The fact that my date turned out great made me regret turning down the other offers I've gotten. I could have been having fun this whole time instead of spending my Friday nights drinking at the bars and being hit on by sloppy drunk men.

It seems the fear of putting ourselves out there and possibly setting ourselves up for failure is lingering over some of our heads. It's so easy for us to pass opportunities like these along because we assume things won't work out with that person.

What I have learned is that you never know until you try, and while we're here we might as well try, right? If we don't, we might miss out on something or someone incredible.

So to all those pimply-face teenage boys who initially ruined dating for me, I forgive you, and commend you now for taking risks with dating because I was always afraid to.

Kelley Chandler can be reached at
kchandler@theorion.com

Awkward First Date

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